How are young people supposed to be preparing themselves for the real world when Christians are preventing them from experiencing anything on their own? When Christians turn natural affections into taboo or demonize a particular worldview, they do not prepare the next generation for what they will have to face as adults. I think it is safe to say that many Christians have mishandled the teachings of Scripture by imposing personal values upon others instead of teaching Biblical principles. In doing so we have under-equiped the next generation and set them up to fail.
I’ve been contemplating this issue for some time. I’ve even considered writing a book on the topic. But what I have actually learned leaves me discouraged and without hope. We have so demonized the nature of dating that I fear I can’t reference it without presupposed ideas thwarting my argument.
What I hope to come to is a place were we recant from teaching our own prejudices and resort to emphasizing Biblical imperatives. If the Bible doesn’t say something specifically within a context, scholars should be wary of absolute statements.
We, as Christians, were given the imperative to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12). My prayer is that we will come to a place of realization where we can truly determine what is conduct worthy of the gospel (Phil. 1:27).
As a single, 26 year old man, I have had a lot of difficulties approaching relationships. Part of the problem was how I was raised to think about dating and the timidity I had to get past before I could be confident in my own intentions. The other issue I’ve had to face is how girls view my advances. If I just talk to a girl, it gives off the wrong impression. Unfortunately, I was left to discover my philosophy of dating on my own. What is worse, the church was not at all helpful in shaping my worldview of relationships and most of what I learned came from the world. I’ve had the temptation before me of abandoning the Christian hotspots as I attempt to meet girls. I’ve found it was easier to go out to coffee with my unsaved co-workers than it was to approach a girl at church. There is an underlining problem within our church and college campuses when it comes to teaching people about dating.
Here is an article I hope you will take the time to read. It addresses the issue of how we’ve handled the topic of dating in the past with our youth and the consequences that follow.
“God is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6
Please feel free to offer your thoughts and share this article with others.